On appreciating yourself more

The Oxford dictionary defines the word ‘appreciation’ as: ‘the recognition and enjoyment
of the good qualities of someone or something’. Self-appreciation then, means having the
same attitude of recognition and enjoyment as well as respect and admiration for one’sown Self.

This article is an attempt to quickly inform you about how one can develop a deeper appreciation for one’s own self.

If there is one thing that I know for sure, it is: “you will have the longest, strongest and the most important connection with your own Self.” Just imagine, if your ‘Self’ i.e. mind, body and soul did not exist, it would not possible to have anything at all; including relationships, possessions and your life as a whole.

Another key point is that you can’t give something to another person that you yourself do not have. So how can you bring love and positivity to this world, your relationships, family and friends and work if you don’t love and appreciate yourself?

Let’s begin with how we can appreciate ourselves better.

1. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE. Every person is unique. When one starts deriving their sense of self-worth from comparison with others, that’s how all problems like jealousy, low self-esteem etc. arise. Respecting and valuing oneself as well as others is an important indicator of our species’ evolution.
Practicing self-admiration and working on your self respect will help you feel better about yourself. Try it some time. not comparing yourself to others and it surely feels awesome!

2. BE YOU. Be your own person. By this, I mean being your authentic Self. The true ‘you’…The real ‘you’. Don’t be a copy of someone. Be original. Be unique and stay unique. Because then, there will be nobody like you. And that is your power.

3. BE GRATEFUL for all that you have received thus far in your life and for whatever that will come your way. Appreciate what you already have in your life. Gratitude has statistically been proven to be one of the predictors of current and future happiness. It is simple logic: counting your blessings will give you an idea of how blessed you are. And this will help you focus on the brighter side of life and the positive aspects of own Self too.

4. LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SPEAK TO YOURSELF. What you tell yourself and how you talk to yourself has a really deep impact on your life. It becomes essential, if not crucial to have positive, accepting and unconditionally loving auto-suggestions and auto-talk.

5. YOUR JOURNEY IS YOURS ONLY AND NO ONE ELSE’S. Sounds obvious, right? Now, the next thing is to take responsibility for your life, including the way you see and feel about yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. How true! If we truly love and respect ourselves, then it is really easy to keep our cool and not be offended when people are sometimes nasty.

6. REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER OTHERS. Your talent, beauty, experiences, wisdom, your affection, compassion, strength and love….all of these are so valuable. And they could really really help another being. Always remember: if any self-doubt that creeps in, it doesn’t belong in your awesome ‘Self’! Just keep reminding this to yourself…like a mantra.

7. SPEAK YOUR MIND. Be open and clear while communicating with others (and your self too) it is often the words you do no verbalise that haunt you for the longest time. As they say, speak your mind, even if your voice shakes. At the end of the day, at least you won’t regret that you didn’t say something.

8. DRAW INSPIRATION FROM OTHERS who unconditionally love themselves for who they are. Spend time with them. Ask them questions. And if their answers make sense to you, imbibe them in your lives. You can practice what they preach. Life is a learning process. And we are all here to learn from one another.

The bottom line is that life is too short to not appreciate, value and admire yourself. You are glorious. Each one reading this… You are glorious and amazing.


Thoughts by Juhi Jaiswal, Sewa for Synergy with Energy


On Absolute Happiness

“It’s pretty hard to tell what brings happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.” ~ Kin Hubbard

Truth be told, we all want to be happy and all we want is to be happy! Yet, at some point of time, ora the other, we have found it difficult and challenging to do so. When we are surrounded by events that trigger negative feelings, our quest for happiness becomes harder and more complicated. And if it just ended there, perhaps things wouldn’t be that bad.

But sadly, it doesn’t end there.

For some strange reason, we have all started running a rat-race where we constantly compare ourselves to each other, not realising that at the end of the rat-race, no matter what the result, we will still be rats!

And aren’t two people completely unique like fingerprints? When the finger prints of one person’s left hand are different from his right, then how can two different people be in the same league and race? And how can their happiness levels be compared? Does it make any sense for someone to think “He’s so much more happy than me” or “I’m way happier than them”? No, right? What’s even the purpose of such a comparison?

I’m guessing that at some point you’ve thought that happiness is a distant elusive dream. On other days, you may feel that you are quite a happy person. Whatever the case be, whether consciously or unconsciously, we humans are programmed to seek happiness. To understand our quest for happiness and our success/failure at it, we need to understand what happiness means.

There are various philosophies in the world that talk of happiness. Many religions, world leaders, philosophers, thinkers, writers and poets have all expressed their views on it. This article is in reference to the Buddhist philosophy. The Buddhist philosophy talks about two types of happiness. One is relative happiness and the other is absolute happiness.

Relative happiness is something that is dependent on external things and entities acquiring, keeping maintaining and possessing them. Apart from buying and owning material goods, even relationships, honour, praise, glory etc can be sources of relative happiness because if these are taken away, we tend to get hurt, upset and sad.

E.g. When I buy a car, I derive pleasure by using it every day. Now, if this new car is taken away from me, I may feel upset or sad. This is the relative happiness. On the other hand, if I do not let this loss of a new car control my feelings of love, calm, peace, joy….then I am in a state of absolute happiness.

Despite the reality of the challenges of life, every single one of us can find profound happiness in our lives. Absolute happiness is independent of afore mentioned criteria (material goods, relationships, honour, praise, glory etc) and is unconditional.

Absolute happiness involves loving life and living so much, that no amount of adversity or suffering can sway us from our true nature of being happy. The goal is to draw on our own inner resources so that we establish a resilient state of life which is not influenced by anything.

It does seem like a difficult goal but with awareness, mindfulness and consistent effort, we can practice total happiness every day. We have the capacity to feel good and joyous and attain complete happiness, even in situations where we do not get what we want and desire. Often, our happiness has very little to do with receiving and a lot more to do with giving. Especially when you give to someone without any expectation of return, it is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world!

It is a dire delusion that happiness can be gained from somewhere other than within ourselves. If one truly wants to achieve complete and total happiness, then there is a need to look deep within… as to what is it that really makes us happy.

Is it taking care of a stray animal?

Is it serving others?

Is it making your kids better humans?

Is it helping a person in need?

Is it writing an anonymous letter of appreciation to someone you know?

Is it praying for someone else’s happiness?

Is it buying a meal for a homeless person?

Is it connecting with nature?

Is it strengthening your mental fortitude?

The three BIG questions are:

Do YOU WANT to be utterly and absolutely happy?

WHAT is it that makes you truly, completely and absolutely happy?

What changes are you ready to make to achieve Absolute Happiness?

Thoughts by Juhi Jaiswal…Sewa done for Synergy with Energy